Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
