If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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