What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize