Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
