its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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