Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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