he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i think my cat just said my name.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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