I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
