Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy