I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
