Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
