i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize