i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
