Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
