i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
