In America we eat man semen.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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