Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize