we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
