He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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