I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
