I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
accomplished twins. life is a go
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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