highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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