There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour