i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...