So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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