I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
