My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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