They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
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He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
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i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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