worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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