Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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