Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
