New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My bed smells like the plague
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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