he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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