she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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