How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize