The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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