it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
All the doctor said was why
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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