and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
