His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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