Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
