Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
