On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
