You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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