You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
