fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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