I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
