Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
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MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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