we have officially lost it.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
