saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's never too late to be topless.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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