his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.