Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You're upset about this?

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  (803): We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF? (843): You're upset about this? http://tfl.nu/f42n
  Replies (28) Good night (2670) Bad night (1321)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.

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  (256): There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it. http://tfl.nu/68k2
  Replies (17) Good night (798) Bad night (3175)
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  (559): View more from California

  You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.

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  (559): You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community. http://tfl.nu/nzga
  Replies (21) Good night (5815) Bad night (759)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...

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  (630): She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket... http://tfl.nu/7hai
  Replies (11) Good night (1387) Bad night (3536)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something

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  (570): i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something http://tfl.nu/ax1a
  Replies (28) Good night (7646) Bad night (1749)
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  (415): View more from California

  And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!

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  (415): And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?! http://tfl.nu/ikec
  Replies (9) Good night (2914) Bad night (781)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?

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  (225): Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday? http://tfl.nu/4464
  Replies (5) Good night (2447) Bad night (794)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.

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  (309): You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks. http://tfl.nu/3xq6
  Replies (7) Good night (2895) Bad night (437)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way

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  (708): is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower? (1-708): head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way http://tfl.nu/d98n
  Replies (2) Good night (1475) Bad night (583)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.

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  (719): Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs. http://tfl.nu/ixry
  Replies (3) Good night (1503) Bad night (448)
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  (831): View more from California

  I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.

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  (831): I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting. http://tfl.nu/2s6l
  Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (431)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.

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  (734): If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date. http://tfl.nu/hoqh
  Replies (1) Good night (574) Bad night (249)
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  (707): View more from California

  I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude

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  (707): I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude http://tfl.nu/pine
  Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (228)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow

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  (404): So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow http://tfl.nu/zlpp
  Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Literally.

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  (312): I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth. (312): Literally. http://tfl.nu/rigg
  Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (179)

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