Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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