I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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