i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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