I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
