So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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