Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize