So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
