she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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