We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
