what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
