there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
well you can't waste a boner
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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