so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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