He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
His nipple licking is glorious
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